OPSS I DID IT AGAIN! HAHAHA i SUCK @ BLogginG!

this blogging thing is not a thing for a procrastinator like me.
ermm..what have i been doing all these missing months? lots and lots of thinking. (crap) plus lazing around of course. hahaha.
i now tutor on wednesday and friday. wed is f3 english, and fri is f1 maths.
ni kali ambur la ni. i'm in a phase, buduh. and my ego are keeping me from spilling it all out to u. especially emotional parts. u reap wat u sow?
on the month of july, i went to kuching, for the rainforest world music festival. the crowd was geeeeeeela la. not that crowded as the previous year(ada regular customer bilg) but they were music lovers..with attitude...and drunk. HAHAHA. i was there with ryan, satria and my brother, lyonel.
first day, it rained heavily. basah abis. but still danced and fooled around on the muddy dance phllooor (the field) psl tia mo rugi.blk rumah, brabis cuci semua.1st day ended at 1, abis cuci, 3+. tidur2..bgn sda tgh ari. then at 3+, drove back to cultural village for the second day event.
second day, we were well prepared (HAHAHAHA kami jak tau) for the rain! , but...it didnt rain on that day. soooo dance dance dance to the music of the world~ still on the muddy dance phlooor~ but the mud was a little harden that day. same routine, blk rmh cuci baju..tidur.
third day! the final day of the event, it rained!!! cats and dogs~ on and off~ tuhnder and lightning~ wet and shivering~ still the party has to go on. dance dance dance...(getting into the wrong crowd - the gays). trus si ryan bilg, "salah tempat kita ni tau". yet we stood still at the spot..wet and shivering of the cold. the rain stopped a little, and out came the breeeeeze. ambek ko bergagar sejuk buduh.
we left early.11+. mo mati kesejukan suda. my hands had wrinkles..mcm mayat dorg sat bilg. HAHA.
K. that was RWMF. The rest im gonna let yourself figure it. HAAA~ xbah. next is next post. this is what i can for now. bahsa pun ambur. lg senang laa gini sa rasa.
half a loaf is better than none. LAAAAAPAR~
Kesempatan ini sa ingin mengucapkan selamat berpuasa buat teman2 sekalian.
Roger is out. APAKA!

M.I.A.

Baaaaaaaaaaack~ and hope it's for good now. You might assume that I've been lazy this period I was missing, well this I tell you with love, I've.been.working.my.butt.out! Woohoooo! Me and life, we have issues. Issues that are so sensitive that I can't complaint much about them. Only close friends know what I'm experiencing, and I thank them for understanding. This chewing, savouring and swallowing of the bitter gourds seems normal for me now. I’m &quote built tough &quote? Or is it psychologically because I'm a middle child? And that I'm being a &quote silent rebel &quote ? I'm strong you know...I understand them, they're not wrong for doing what they're doing, I'm not gonna put any blame on them. It’s just what they had/have to do. Someday I'll might understand this myself as well.

Okay, back to what I’ve been doing this while.. I've been doing part-time job at my cousin's restaurant (kadai kupik jak bah yau). The pay? Not that much, but I enjoy working, especially with my cousins. I am responsible to wash the dishes and cups, make sure that the kitchen and everything is clean, organized, and fly-free. Imagine that ;p Like other work environment, there sure is politics, and issues that aren't avoidable. These in fact had opened my eyes and perspective of the real world. Harshhh I tell you. My advice is to do what you got to do. If you can't work in such environment, quit! You ain't living life if you did so.

Besides working at my cousin's place, I'm also tutoring? LOL. Good experience indeed for my future-career, though I do need to revise my time management (goooooosh). My class is only once per week, which is every Wednesday. Currently I have 2 PMR students, and 1 form two student. A challenge indeed as I don't have that experience to teach mixed forms in a class. Yet I promise myself to do the best, for my own self, and theirs. Always think positive! A simple line yet an advice that I'll never forget. To enjoy life, you need to enjoy what you do, and motivation (morally and monetary) indeed has its roles in this matter.

Ooh… This week is supposed to be revision week. Next week is already the big F. And yet here I am, procrastinating. “Dua paper jak baaa” <--- You is a bad mindset! I’m so used to it that it has blended with my lifestyle. Pffts. Need something to snap me out of it. This sure is gonna be a reason for my downfall someday.

Till then, squeakers~

>oo<

mr. little loser!

Enough is never enough.

Sigh.
Lost the fight, the bet, and ready to pay the price.
So here I am, coming clean.
Defeated! Indeed. It sure sucks that I'm unable to restrain the urge.
Well, bad habits do die hard. But I'm not gonna stop here. I'm still pushing myself, though it would take time, but I, will, make, this, a, reality!
I've lost count of the days we've been OFF of It. 8 or 9 days maybe. But, it's quite a progress I tell you. It's been a stressful period, garhhh if only i could resisted It just for the weekends. Guess long distance driving acquires It in me to keep me awaken, freshen, and alert? Pffftz.
She indeed did her best to resist, and abide the rules of the bet. And so did I? Well, I did, and sorry that I came clean a bit later. Are you gonna be pissed of this? I hope not. She is definitely stronger than I thought. I hope she'll continue her fight after this. She's been up to something healthy, and that's a WOOOHOO YOU GO GIRL! for her.
K, this would be the part where I go down in defeat, and you deserve to rub it in (insert me+Mr.Loser+L sign on forehead here). Here are some proverb/sayings related to DEFEAT and hope that from this I can gain something. I WILL!

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.~
Defeat the Defeat before the Defeat defeats you.
How easy it is to defeat people who do not kindle fire for themselves.
We learn little from victory, much from defeat.
We learn the value of things more in their loss than in their enjoyment.
Weeping makes the heart grow lighter.
A man is not defeated by his opponents but by himself.
Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

Day 7? Day 8? Losing track.

Each day that I’m away from you
I feel so weak inside
I hope that God would give me strength
to get me through the day

And when I lay awake at night
I’ll dream that you’ll be by my side
I hope that God would give me strength
to get me through the night

It’s a fact I can’t deny,
that you are far away from me
But my heart is there with you
until my life is through

It’s the pain that I must face
There’ll be time that I’ll be mad at you
This is only just because
I love you so...so very much

For all the things that you’ve done for me
I’ll repay them with sincerity
I hope that God would give me strength
to take good care of you

And don’t you ever cry my love
we’ll be together oh someday
I hope that God would give me strength
to find a way

THIRD DICE - NEW HOPE (lyric)

Day 6 - Brain Dead

Day 6 - Can't do much thinking anymore. Am I losing you? Tell me what to do~ (yess this is a song hint: Jim Reeves)
harhar...me wants another stick. just 1 stick k? comrade..1 stick. a day. ok? a stick a day won't hurt? harhar..this sucks.
IT..u suck!

Day 5 - Battle that is lost. Almost?

Day 5 - Lost the match, and almost lost the bet. Penaltied for taking a stick. Garhh what losing can do to you, the frustration, it sucks i tell you.

Day 4 (sì)- IT dies tonight

IT... has taken ITs affect on me~ i, am no more capable to think, neither do not even know what I am writing. The situation now is like a sail boat, drifting on an open wide sea, just to follow where the wind blows, without no one navigating it.
IT...was easy to be addicted to IT. I still remember, it was 7 years ago. Imagine, 7 years of IT, and now, a sudden end. IT aches inside, roars, urges, which affects the Mind and Emotions, I do not know the connection between IT, the Mind, and Emotions, but it seems that IT has ITs abilities, to manipulate, tempt, and trigger them...to what they are and what they were.. doesn't make sense huh? Well, IT's the effect I tell you.
IT...I had enough of you. It is time I shed a new skin. Enough is enough. And this is where you stop running my life. I will do anything, to not see you again. And by that, I mean it.
IT... This is The End.